Bucks County Cesspool: A Parting Shit

The $2,100 ransom that the defendant has been coerced to pay under threat of incarceration (aggravated by a bumbling, stumbling, mumbling, bedraggled, slovenly, indolent, and disheveled lying court-appointed lawyer wearing shoes so worn out and rolled over that he must have had to lie down to put them on, unable or unwilling to provide effective assistance of counsel) has been paid in full. Do not contact or threaten this alleged defendant anymore, period. This jurisdiction has no further official business cognizable by common, state, or federal law with the defendant. He is not seeking any further post-conviction relief. Leave him alone.

The defendant is resigned to take the "L"—the loss—like a boss. He has paid the terms (dearly) for being held hostage in full, imperiled by unprofessional threats to both his life and his liberty. He will not tolerate any further officious, presumptuous, or unethical subordinate court clerical personnel, or anyone else in this odorous, bubbling bastion (a stinking stew reeking of racism whose stench can be smelled as far away as here in Delaware) of feigned conservatism penning unscripted, unlawful, and tortious letters as if he is a layman: a complete dunce, an imbecile, a jailbird, a jailhouse lawyer, or a scofflaw in and out of jail like a common criminal; unable to comprehend a simple, follow-the-bouncing-ball legal agreement; intimidated by shocking ineptitude and stunning effrontery, which abounds in the wretched halls of this rotten, filthy court, literally and figuratively speaking (and he is being kind here).

A court clerk has no legal standing or, more importantly, statutory authority to unilaterally change the conditions of a defendant's release under the threat of a violation of probation in any jurisdiction of this country. Court clerks are not sworn judicial officers (most are not even lawyers, though some are) and, as such, their duties are strictly prescribed and ministerial for the most part. To try and accord a local state court clerk judicial authorities under "color of law" by association is as unlawful as it is impermissible and, more importantly, actionable as well as punishable under federal civil rights law.

For all the legal hacks—graduates of obscure, third-rate law schools employed by CCP in any capacity, whose only hope to practice any type of law is as a court employee, be it judge, clerk, bailiff, or janitor, that "think" (an emphasis which is a stretch) they understand civil rights law and advised the threatened action from Bucks County Adult Probation that prompts the defendant's immediate reaction—naively believing that their great orange savior (a real common criminal in his own right) will rescue them from the dark hordes standing at the gate: a county, irrespective of how insular it may be, does not enjoy 11th Amendment protections against a private cause of action or suit for the laymen riding the short bus on their perilous journey through this parting shit.

If the court had been judicious, fair, and impartial, the court would have never held a disabled 64-year-old defendant in detention for six weeks without bail on a non-capital offense (or allegations even tenuously close to warranting this type of extraordinary pretrial detention with a lazy, dopey court-appointed lawyer going along for the ride, ignoring dozens of frantic telephone calls placed from the jail to his home and answering service), maliciously causing the defendant to lose income streams; abusing its discretion in the process by ignoring colorably pleaded motions proffered before it; and weakly conceding, capitulating, and folding like an effeminate, dainty little pansy. In effect, they are colluding and conspiring with rank-and-file court personnel whom the court should be exhibiting leadership toward, not friendship for, to unethically coerce a defendant into paying an exorbitant restitution before an October 11, 2024, deadline, when it was due and, more importantly, agreed to by the terms of his release from kidnapping.

All of this misconduct targets an accomplished Black professional who had never been arrested in either the receiving or sending jurisdiction in his life for anything more or less than such an alleged petty offense (or in the last forty years at all, with the exception of a single misdemeanor which carried no jail time). Doing so without a shred of morality, an iota of consciousness, or any basic human empathy or consideration for the collateral consequences to the defendant speaks volumes about this one CCP judge. It was as instructive as it was callous, brutal, and racist; consequently, it said more about the judge's myopic worldview and lack of jurisprudence than it did about the defendant's alleged "crime" or, more importantly, the "administration of justice"—if a "reasonable person" can even properly characterize the alleged petty offense, akin to a quality-of-life violation in any other jurisdiction (most of which would have declined to prosecute such an unprovable allegation), with which the defendant was unfairly, imprudently, and stupidly charged and meanly held without bail for two months with a straight face.

The ruddy-faced, white-haired patrician playing the part of judge, jury, and executioner where life meets art in a white-hot culture war would have never done the same to a "similarly situated" white man, period. Locking up a college-educated Black professional—an academician with one professional and one terminal degree, who was "totally and permanently injured" in the line of duty as a volunteer emergency medical technician at Ground Zero on 9/11, sacrificing his legal career for the greater good—while everyone to a person (in the court upon information and belief, including but not limited to all of the plain, obese, odd-shaped, lonely-hearts-club-in-good-standing members; lifelong spinsters desperately seeking comfort in each other's flabby embrace, absent anyone being remotely attracted to them, engaging in petticoat politics at the defendant's expense; sitting on their wide, flat, protuberant derrieres, globs of industrial-strength pancake makeup and artificial jelly from sugary Dunkin' Donuts dripping messily down their pale, pudgy cheeks; immorally attempting to coerce a decorated EMT into paying restitution for an alleged offense he did not commit and never admitted) were whimpering, weeping, and cowering in fear with their fat asses stuck up in the air. Their orthopedic flats precariously tried to contain feet grossly swollen by diabetes mellitus, and ill-fitting mom jeans tried futilely to shape pickle-barrel bodies—the natural result of consuming tons of unhealthy, processed GMO, corn syrup, and sodium-laden foodstuffs that cannot be exported to the world market—as they huddled under their cheap, prison-labor desks hundreds of miles away on that fateful day.

The action or, more accurately, inaction by all interested parties in this court was nothing short of a scandalous, disgraceful, and unethical exercise in bigotry capped by hubris. The oblivious bureaucrat in Harrisburg that putatively oversees the petty tyrants, wannabe dictators, and circus clowns sitting in, on, or around this cannot-be-taken-too-seriously kangaroo court (save for the authority they recklessly wield like a cudgel over the vulnerable heads of hapless, helpless, and incarcerated defendants) ought to be ashamed—if shame were not such a far-fetched, incomprehensible concept to the MAGA wing of the lunatic fringe strutting around the court like peacocks, flat chests puffed out from unmerited pride and arrogance, masquerading as judges, prosecutors, and clerks laboring in a corrupt, incestuous, and septic cesspool—in bed with external prison third-party vendors preying on the poor folks caught up in their web of deception for simply trying to feed their families. (If they collectively possessed the native intellect to even begin to grasp such a foreign, abstruse concept.)

Note to those dopes that this parting swipe is protected by the First Amendment, Third Circuit case law, and Supreme Court precedent. In the event some presumptuous dope there, who arrogantly believes they can continue to run roughshod over the defendant's constitutionally protected First, Fourth, Fifth, Eighth, and Fourteenth Amendment rights, decides to take offense and play hero (read: "Karen"), the defendant hopes s/he will, because he means every single curse: a vicious, pompous, racist, co-opted, and compromised CCP judge attempted to kill him without a second thought, period.

CCP court administration knew that he was "totally and permanently" disabled; it is a matter of court record that he could not endure the rigors of incarceration—except for by the grace of God. The ex-prosecutor-turned-defense lawyer who violated attorney-client privilege fostered the lie that the defendant refused to appear in court, which was cited time and again by the assistant district attorney to rationalize keeping the defendant in jail. He will have his own day of reckoning because he knew the defendant had suffered a life-threatening bilateral orbital fracture and deliberately refused to provide the medical records (provided to him) to the court, allowing the prosecution to petition the court for a bench warrant (covering the border states of Pennsylvania, such as Delaware, New York, New Jersey, Virginia, and Maryland). This was a flagrant violation of the lawyer's sworn oath, the ABA Code of Ethics, and the PA Rules of Professional Conduct for lawyers. The defendant was eventually apprehended five blocks from his house on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, recuperating from the life-threatening acute injury.

The disgraceful lawyer, upon information and belief, must have had an epiphany months earlier, however. He had presciently petitioned the court to be relieved from duty, knowing what was coming down the pike relative to his own standing with the Pennsylvania Court of Appeals, which the lower court judge promptly granted while issuing a bench warrant months earlier for the bogus misdemeanor allegation against the defendant. The official misconduct by a weak, conservative, pro-prosecution judge, officious clerk, and go-along-to-get-along court administrator was the coup de grâce that cannot be excused by plausible deniability, however. Enough said.

The defendant is a healer. What are these miscreants? Only God knows. But may they all suffer the same fate they ruthlessly visited upon the defendant in those eight weeks third-party contracted medical service providers to Bucks County prison stopped calling him down to "sick call"—knowing his blood pressure was mortally high and suspecting he would suffer a heart attack at any moment from the stress—seven times seven. Then may they rot in the lowest depths of Dante's Inferno (where they belong... along with their dark, evil, kindred spirits that are agonizingly burning eternally in the fiery pits... their white robes and their white coned hats long ago singed to embers).